


Remembrance

by saturnnnnnn



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Whumptober 2020, ambiguous ending, my brain is screaming at me to not post this, this is trash im sorry, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnnnnnn/pseuds/saturnnnnnn
Summary: The last time Rex saw Anakin, not the person behind the cold mask and measured ventilator, he would’ve never thought of what was going to happen. Sometimes, he wanted to believe that it was all a cruel trick, and maybe if he waited long enough, he could forget how fast it went downhill. But war never waits for anyone, the roughly made graves of all his vod’e was enough proof. Now, all he knew was torn apart, the Jedi massacred, and the very leader of the Republic he was created to die for was a traitor, creating a looming empire in its place.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Anakin Skywalker, CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

> For Whumptober Prompt 8: "Don't Say Goodbye"|Isolation
> 
> sjkhfjkasdhfkjasdhfkajsfhd this is so bad
> 
> this is the first fanfic I've ever written and I want to burn it; but you have to start somewhere ;-;

The thrum of the engine hummed faintly in his ears as he landed the freighter. Stepping out, Rex’s mind automatically noted the land in front of him. The ground was hard and dry, there weren’t really any places to hide if he was attacked; with a jolt, he realized he was grasping his belt, where his blasters would’ve been. With an exhale, he calmed himself, scowling at the reminder of what the war did to him.

_ Manufactured war.  _ His mind supplied, and he bit down on his tongue to control himself.

It might’ve been a bad idea to leave his blaster in the freighter, but at that time, he had wondered who would’ve come here. To a grave, for his  _ vod  _ that were cannon fodder to everyone, expendable and worthless. Ripping his gaze from the barren land, he forced himself to look at the makeshift cemetery, worn out battle helmets loosely hanging on sticks. It had only been a month since Ahsoka came here, in her tattered robes and broken eyes, and he was reminded that she was only a padawan, forced into this war.

_ A war that was pointless. A war that his vod died by the thousands in each battle. For nothing. _

He wondered where Ahsoka was now, probably in hiding. It had been a month since General Kenobi informed them that the  _ Jetiise  _ had been massacred by his brothers. A month since he last came here; truth be told, he had thought of coming here multiple times, but found some excuse each time. Now, staring at the helmets of his fallen  _ vod,  _ he felt like a coward. Because coming here meant it was all real, it meant if they had only  _ listened  _ to Fives, this wouldn’t have happened, meant that Chancellor Palpatine was the Sith Lord the entire time, planning their demise behind that despicable smile. 

The graves were messy and scraggly now, some helmets lying on the ground, weathered and old. Rex tried identifying some of them, against his better judgement. He could see Jesse’s helmet, the visor cracked and the proud 501st blue now faded and dull. Kneeling down, he picked it up, wondering when everything failed, wondering why he had failed so much.

Yet, as he dusted off the helmets of clones he didn’t know, Rex could feel the phantom weight of the blasters in his hands, shaking as his finger hovered over the trigger, aiming at his  _ vod _ .,  **killing** his brothers. Brothers who were identical, who only had each other in the meaningless war that they were slaughtered in every day. He watched as the blaster bolts flew from  _ his  _ blaster, watched them fall to the ground of the star fighter, watched as the light faded away from their eyes. He was a monster. 

_ Good soldiers didn’t cry. _

He could almost see Ahsoka standing there, and part of him wished she hadn’t walked away that day, leaving him behind. But the logical part of Rex told him that it was safer for both of them. Seeing the 501st paint, even if it were scratched and muddied, sent a new twist in his stomach, another clench of his throat as he remembered General Skywalker Anakin. The way he held Rex in Keldable in the privacy of his room, the way he promised Rex

_ after the war _

And Rex had believed him. Clung on to the dream of raising a family and the warmth of Anakin’s arms as they said their goodbyes, neither of them expecting what would’ve happened. 

_ “Don’t say goodbye.”  _ Anakin had whispered quietly, confident that they would return to each other once more. 

But now, Anakin was gone, replaced by the monster Darth Vader. Leaving Rex alone again. 

_ Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Jesse, Axel, Vaughn, Compass, Calbrik, Bolt, Fives….. _

Rex murmured the remembrance prayer from countless times during the war, hating the way the words flowed as easily as water from his lips. Going on, he tried remembering all the deaths, naming the thousands of clones that had perished in the war, each name an added weight to the reminder that he was all that’s left. 

By the time he finished, majestic streaks of purple and pink were painted across the cobalt sky, and Rex’s throat was drier than he had ever imagined, a stark contrast to his tear stained face. Exhaustion dragged him down with each step back, but Rex looked back one more time, adding one more person to his remembrance.

Maybe in the next life, they wouldn’t leave him again.

_ Anakin. _

**Author's Note:**

> vod('e)=brother(s)  
> jettise=jedi
> 
> Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum=I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal


End file.
